Wednesday, October 23, 2002 So it's 10 AM, and I've been up since 6:45. The major-brand mattress logo with the contented oblate head lounging on its flippers looks like porn to me. Today is Wednesday, which means that tonight I have to put out the Elm, my college's newspaper.
When they were trying to fill the job last Spring, I applied to edit it for a joke. I'd never worked on it, and didn't really have much interest in it. It was the sucky little weekly paper, filled with boring crap. I much preferred the marginally better monthly news magazine, which runs hard-hitting articles by bored, affluent college kids about items one can buy at the local dollar store.
The magazine has degenerated over the past few years. Now a plucky junior from Texas is in charge. She's really peppy, but extremely beleagured, because all her work for the young republicans really bites into her schedule. She tried to teach my friend Leah and I line dancing one time, but I wasn't very good.
Of course, this was when I had a drinking hobby, but I suspicion that I'm just clumsy.
Anyway, this plucky Texan is alienating her staff these days by cutting the naught parts out of their articles. I try to tell them to come over to my paper, because I'll print anything to fill space, but my paper is the dork paper, and the magazine writers are all made of art. That is to say, they're kind of affected and dumb, and far too cool to turn their shit in on time, much less write about mundane crap.
I don't mean that ironically. By and large, all there is to report is mundane crap. If I had my druthers it would be a faculty scandal sheet where various department heads made snide little comments about one another's field, and everybody teamed up to hate the administration. The faculty are articulate, and tell urbane little anecdotes. I don't think that's too much to ask of a human being.
Unfortunately, I'm not usually able to get them to talk their shit if they think it's going into print, so that means more articles on whatever sort of drive or -athon team goody-goody is doing to defeat cancer or poverty or whatever.
It makes me want to go lie down. Since today is my birthday, and I'm older and feebler now, I think I will. I turn 21 today (hence the blog, a present from my sister). That means I can go into bars and give people dissapproving looks over the rim of my Shirley Temple glass, I suppose.
posted by Frenz | 10/23/2002 10:43:00 AM
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