Wednesday, January 29, 2003 A troubled reader sounds off!
Dear Moose and Squirrel,
like the angry voice of God I come to tell you that you are wrong, wrong, wrong about poor Zach. Would you just look at this:
http://us.imdb.com/Name?Gosselaar,+Mark-Paul
He's been a regular on NYPD as dorky kid detective John Clark, Jr. for the past few years. And he was in "Dead Man on Campus." What more do you want from this guy?
Dustin Diamond (Screech), on the other hand, what a loser. He can be seen performing stand up comedy and appearing on Star Dates on E!, wherein a has-been or never-really-were is paired with a random shlub. Hilarity ensues.
Ah, Mario Lopez:
He was in the Greg Louganis made for TV movie, as you astutely observed. In addition to his Animal Planet duties, he can be seen on some morning show with Danny Bonaduce and Dick Clark. I forget the name. No one's going to watch that crap anyway. Whoa mama.
Tiffani Thiessen (nee Tiffani-Amber) is vixening around on FOX again on Fastlane. She's gone back to wearing bangs. Elizabeth Berkley was seen in Roger Dodger this past year, which was arty and shit. I don't know if she took off her clothes. She was also in a Woody Allen movie. Hey, it could have been porn.
Lisa Tuttle/Lark Voorhies? Yeah. Not good. I heard she turned to God. But even the Lord can't save her from appearing on Love Boat: the Next Wave.
Leah Remini as Stacey Carosi, she's on some crappy CBS comedy. It's set in Brooklyn I think. She's tough as nails, that gal.
But probably the biggest tragedy going is Dennis Haskins, aka Mr. Belding. His nod to an A-list credit? Max Keeble's Big Move. He also played Toss Honeycut in 2001's Tangy Guacamole. I'm not sure if that's porn or not. Your guess is as good as mine.
So yeah. At least none of these poor slobs are on The Surreal Life on the WB. I guess there's always a next season though. If you need further
clarification, I direct you to Bell Jarred: How Life Got Complicated After High School for a Class of Sitcom Stars
ahoy ahoy,
-your faithful reader posted by Frenz | 1/29/2003 10:33:00 PM
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