Monday, July 14, 2003 I'm going to dial for depression and stay in bed all day.
I'm still looking for work. Still have none. The application process is getting increasingly demeaning, though. The worse the job, the more invasive the questions they ask you. For example at Bennigan's, a national chain of anonymous American-grill type places, they make you sit in a deserted section and peck your application into something like a Flintstones-era Gameboy. It's called a UniCru.
First they have the same old questions. School and employment history. Personal references. Then they got into the terrible section. I've come to know the terrible section well. Apparently it's very hip and modern to have your prospective employee answer something that has little to do with the available job. For example, Urban Outfitters had me write that story about the first time I encountered them. A local bead store wants a paragraph on someone whom I admire. Unless they're hoping I'll say Liberace, I can't see why they give a flying sequin.
Bennigans, though. Jesus. I was kind of expecting one of the notorious "ethics tests" that haunt the world of pink-collar employment. "Suppose you had this workmate, Sad Becky. And she had one leg. And six children. And a cat with leukemia. And her husband had just been crushed by a threshing machine. What if you saw her take home an extra (bottle of conditioner, order of hotwings, handfull of twenties)? Would you tell on Sad Becky?" The correct answer, is naturally, "Sir, yes Sir. "
I was prepared to lie like a champ, because middle managers either take these things very seriously, or just generally don't like smartasses. Instead of asking about Sad Becky, though, the Bennigan Family was more interested in me. I was way flattered, at first, but the UniCru just got ruder and ruder! I had to Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, or Strongly Disagree with a bunch of first-person statements like "I like to work alone more than I like to work with people." "I swear when I argue." "Sometimes I just get so angry. All I see is black. I just want to stab and stab and stab." "I feel nervous in crowds." "My mood changes from happy to sad often and for no reason." "See this booth? 100% genuine baby skin."
So far, they haven't called me back. posted by Frenz | 7/14/2003 06:39:00 PM
0 comments
|
