Sunday, July 20, 2003 ucking-fay ooseless-lay
I've been asking Jeeves and asking him, and I can't get a straight answer on how many pounds of pressure it takes to tear off a human ear. My pal Earthworm the EMT would know this, because she knows all kinds of gruesome medical facts but the hellions she lives with are probably asleep by now. Goddamnit. I'm really curious. All the estimates I've heard are ridiculously low. Also, I can't for the life of me figure out where I heard them!
Is it from sitcoms? That's pretty much my main source of the weird invisible background cultural knowledge that everybody has somehow.
Like, I've only ever met one person from my own demographic who didn't know that kryptonite kills Superman. We were both about 15 at the time. How on earth did she live that long on this planet and not know that? Weirder still, though, when I thought about it, was how the hell did I know it? I'd never read comics, and neither had any of my family or close friends. I didn't see any Superman movies until I was 16, and even then, it was only Superman II, over and over again because the boyfriend of that era was kind of obsessed with it.
Superman wasn't exactly a hot brand in my youth, especially pre-Seinfeld, so it's not like his image or the legend of Superman's weakness for Kryptonite was being used in commercials and stuff.
I just knew about it.
In this same way, I know that coca cola used to be nothing more than a slurry of fructose and pure cocaine, and that your ears (or mine, which I'm even more worried about) will just come off if an acquaintance should give them a friendly tug.
Still, I'm beginning against all odds to believe that this information is ersatz, just part of the massive pack of lies concocted by the world's grown-ups.
Because I caught my ear against the car door tonight, and it totally didn't come off. posted by Frenz | 7/20/2003 05:05:00 AM
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