Sunday, September 21, 2003 spicy
I woke up a few minutes after 8 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I blame a guilty conscience. As I was feeding the yelling fucks this morning, I realized that yesterday was the second week in a row I completely forgot to bring them to the kitty adoption. I don't think the high-end pet boutique that hosts the kitty adoptions had power, though, because not much else did.
Nothing makes one feel like a refugee so much as not having the oppourtunity to purchase $30 organic dog food. (Not that I'd do such a thing, but it's the chance that I might that makes me feel rich.)
In the same category as guilt: shame.
Holy shit, my novel is bad. I picked it up for the first time since may, and I couldn't get more than two pages into it. No wonder I didn't rocket to stardom or at least win the fat cash prize my old school handed out. Dang.
I still want to fix it, or I did yesterday, but now I'm not sure if I can without re-writing it from scratch.
This is what I knew would happen and what I was even hoping would happen if I stopped working on the thing for a while: I'd be able to see it with fresh eyes and so forth, but I really didn't think I'd end up cringing in front of the computer, afraid to go near the bookcase because it's on there.
I really need to feel like a hotshot again. Arrogance is very important to my well-being. posted by Frenz | 9/21/2003 09:14:00 AM
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