Thursday, October 30, 2003 Whoopsie
Looks like I forgot to log off again, and someone, perhaps my subconscious self, typed a rather graphic and incriminating confession.
Or:
The mate is practicing for nanowrimo. I talked him into doing it with me this year. The wisdom here is questionable, since we share one decidedly non-portable computer, but we never leave the house anyway, and I figure that I can write during the many, many hours the mate squanders in sleep every day. posted by Frenz | 10/30/2003 11:27:00 AM
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Wednesday, October 29, 2003 So, big something.
The other day, the mate and i were heading home from the grocery store back to our mediocraty, and 'ol mate took the useual shortcut through the one way banik parkinglot that i had repeatedly warned him about. Shut your hole, he'd say... well, this time, as he was speeding down the one way, what should pop out of no were. A pedestrian! Yes, that's right, faithfull followers, i am now accessory to vehicular manslaughter. it was just like in the movies "Thaboof!" right over the hood and the roof and "Thump" back down to the ground on the other side. The mate spead off, and swears no one saw anything. i wanted him to stop and check on the person. but from the looks of him, he wasn't gonna make it. We called 911 from one of the town's few remaining pay phones. The car that eat's money is in suppriseingly good health. it's been four days since the incident and i haven't had a wink of good sleep since. i close my eyes to death. Tits sleeps his usual 12 hours. naturally, besides the imence guilt of being responsable for the death of something [Tits says not to worry, he looked like a prick anyways] i've been scared out of my mind that were going to go to jail for like a million years. The mate is confident noone knows nothing, and he's probably right, it's been four days, as i say. Reading back over old entries, maby working a boring, unfulfilling job wasn't the worst thing that could have happen to my life.
[i just hope Blog Submissions aren't admissable in court. They can't be. Right?] posted by Frenz | 10/29/2003 11:16:00 PM
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This is the part of the job I hate
I had to get up and get gas this morning, because I spent last night ferrying my trashy and parasitic neighbors around. One of them asked for a ride down the street top the restuarant where her roommate works, and it was cold and rainy, so I said yes. It turned into an hour and a half of nonense, including driving to a neighborhood I swear I've seen on Cops in order that the most parasitic of the neighbors could pick up a child support check for a child that isn't currently living with her from a man who is not the father of the child. I am never going into the hall again. I'm going to rig up some sort of pneumatic tube that can shunt me from my living room window down to my car and back every day. Or, next time the trashy parasitic neighbor(s) requests something, I'll say no. Either/or.
Anyway...I went to get gas this morning, and I saw some class of potted plant in the middle of the road, about to get ruined. I parked and went and retreived it. It appears to be some kind of pansy. So now I have two discarded plants prettying up the living room. They are much cleaner than the discarded dog we acquired that time, but I enjoy their company a lot less.
Still, having green things around does a little to offset the depression that comes from looking for a better job. "Oh, look, they're hiring poultry eviscerators!"
I threw down a resume and application at one place online. They're looking for an editor and proofreader for an advertising agency. In the first line of their ad, they'd misspelled "advertising," so I think I might have a shot. Also, I think their "agency" might be run out of a van or shanty of some sort. I still prefer it to my current Reagan Youth job down at the politburo with the mutants and werewolves. posted by Frenz | 10/29/2003 12:34:00 PM
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Monday, October 27, 2003 Rime
Today I spent part of one of my fifteen minute breaks listening to one of my co-workers--the one who swathes herself in purple garments from head to toe, and wears a hat and sunglasses and a hooded sweatshirt indoors at all times--corner a friendly supervisor. "Does the sound of nails on a chalkboard bother you?" she said.
"Well...yes," said the supervisor.
"Do you know what really bothers me?"
"...."
"Touching silverware. I can't stand it. I won't do it. Any kind of flatware, really."
"..."
"I won't have it in my house. Only acrylic."
"Oh..."
Conclusion:My co-worker is a werewolf. posted by Frenz | 10/27/2003 10:44:00 PM
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Thursday, October 23, 2003 .22
Today was my second working birthday in a row. At least this year was less grueling then last year. Also, by sheer coincidence, the purple section was given cupcakes at work. Nobody else got them. For the sake of tact, I suppose, they herded us into the training room to eat them.
While we were in there, we "brainstormed" about the various ridiculous fundraising campaigns we're doing. "Do we have to say 'gun-grabbing'?" Things like that.
One guy, perhaps the creepiest guy at work, which is really a superlative that has to be seen in context to pack the appropriate wallop, kept saying things to the supervisors like, "Now don't lose your temper," or "Don't get upset with me now," like he was really risking bringing the firestorm down upon him. He was the only one in the room who didn't eat his cupcake. I don't know who got his.
posted by Frenz | 10/23/2003 11:17:00 PM
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Sunday, October 19, 2003 Oh and!
Highlight of my phone pestering career so far: by sheer chance, the other day I called the family of my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. I was so tempted to ask them if their daughter was still dying her hair an unnatural burgundy color and sneering, but really, I just stuck to the script. Later, her mom hung up on me.
posted by Frenz | 10/19/2003 03:56:00 AM
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In case you were wondering
I think this bit where I post three or four little posts at a time, then maintain blog silence for a few days might be my thing.
I'm staying up later than I should in a sort of "reverse Christmas" strategy.: the later and more unnecessarily I stay up, the more I'll delay work tomorrow.
In other news, I actually worked on my telenovella for a while today, rather than "revising" by reading through it and taking notes. It turns out that doesn't work, because my notes, which I always put such care into writing turn out to say things like, "P.38-bad dialogue. P. 39 Terrible. P.40 Jesus Christ. P. 42. Kill yourself."
Instead I'm being a real butt head and working on a prologue. If Donna Tartt can get away with it....
I probably won't even use it, but it feels ridiculously good to be doing something concrete after all this time of trying to write by pouting and crying.
That, and enough people have asked about the status of the telenovela that I felt too ashamed to let it die. posted by Frenz | 10/19/2003 03:53:00 AM
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rise and fall and rise again
I found out a few days ago that my friend Leah's savage little cat died in the line of duty recently. He chased a rat right out into the path of car. From what I know of the Motor City rat population, the fucker was probably 3 times his size, and armed.
I knew the cat when he was fresh from the West Philly streets, and still smelled vaguely of motor oil. In the last month or so of school, when I was spending a lot of nights on Leah's floorso that I'd actually have time to finish my thesis rather than spending a couple hours a day commuting back and forth to the chaos in Delaware, the cat, who was then very small, would often find a fairly flat expanse of my persona nd fall asleep on it.
He was the only kitten I knew with a double chin. He was very pretty, and good at purring.
The rat never stood a chance against a cat so tough and stalwart. If only our hero were so lucky.
This really stinks. I know I was pretty broken up about Robo, and we knew she was ancient when we found her, so it was no shock.
Up in heaven, little Dickie or Teddy (there was some dissention about the cat's true name) is pouncing on Robo's back, and Robo is standing still, looking straight ahead. The arrangement suits them, and they are happy. posted by Frenz | 10/19/2003 03:16:00 AM
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Avoid the rural
I went with the mate to see the new movie where poor Mary from tv's 7th Heaven runs away from a man who, being big and facially deformed, took the natural next step of becoming a masked killer. Mary is always making destructive decisions.
Point being, though, seriously: stay in your car when travelling from one civilized populated area to another. Don't fuck around with the locations in between.
I jump, comically, embarrassingly, and often whenever I'm watching a remotely scary or suspenseful movie and something jumps out at the victim. Tonight everybody else did too, and in the most startling moment of them all, there was a jingling noise from all directions at once as teh change fell out of everyone's pockets.
It was a hardnosed teenage crowd tonight, because of the nature of the movie itself, probably, and because it was saturday. What made the audience into an elite strike force of surly teens, though, was the militant usher everyone had to beat to get in at all. Mere ticket-tearing was not enough for him. He had to ID everybody to make sure we were over 17, and to add irritation to eyerolling, he also hassled us about our large bag of smugglables. Whatever, dude. If I can't bring my own sprite, it's not my 8-plex.
Recognize. posted by Frenz | 10/19/2003 03:01:00 AM
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Thursday, October 16, 2003 Take me down
This weekend the mate and I went down to the mountains of North Carolina. We ate figs and played connect four and climbed a mountain, and one day we went to an extra party (because we were already at a party, sort of, just by being down there). The extra party turned out to be a vegetarian potluck with a bluegrass theme. But I don't think anyone had publicized that before hand. I think that everyone just happened to bring their dulcimers and mandolins and tofu with peanut sauce, because, you know, what else would you bring to a party?
We stayed at my friend E's grandfather's cabin, which was built by Presbyterian missionaries in the 1940's. There were about 10 of us and everybody was nice. Very sincere, too. I'm serious, here. What a time. I hadn't met most of them before, and truthfully, I doubt I'll see many of them again, but boy! I needed that.
I think I'm going to quit my terrible job soon, even though the mate and I have been moved to the purple section of the call center, where only the most elite call agents are permitted to sit. The weekend made me realize that I haven't been too close to happy in a while, and while a steady diet of bluegrass and peanut sauce probably wouldn't do it for me in the long run, my life isn't structured so that oppourtunities for gentle fun come up too often.
In the meantime, that means looking for another job for real, so I'm busy bullying myself into avoiding applying for further shit work and looking for something semi-professional.
The first step: not sleeping all the time. The second: somehow acquiring an intern or two to help me with tedious things like resumes.
Now hiring, people. Now hiring.*
*The internship is an unpaid position. Preference will be giving to the attractive.
posted by Frenz | 10/16/2003 01:33:00 AM
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Wednesday, October 08, 2003 They are lying
I don't know if you knew this, but work is creepy. The nature of the job is pretty bad and all, but the actually workplace may be worse. The mate calls it the politiburo.
It's in an office park in some fairly far-flung suburbs. It is near things like waffle restuarants and car dealerships.
Our "office" is on the first floor. It is a large, ugly, flourescently lit room with oyster-colored carpeting that might hide vomit stains fairly well. There are about a dozen aisle of demi-cubicles, all of which contain a computer, a monitor, a mousepad, and list of rules. It is connected to a slightly fancier office. The people who do my job are not allowed in there.
In this room, there is receptionist's desk, pictures of Barry Goldwater, a crystal urn full of candy corn, and a discreet bust of Ronald Reagan.
Recently, there's been some remodeling of an office suite across the hall from us, even closer than the office of the assholes who won't let us use their candy machine even when ours is broken. I can't say I've been curious about who's moving in, because I really can't muster up emotion of any kind on the job site.
Except last week, a piece of blue tape went up on the door of the myster office suite. Magic markered onto it: WACKENHUT.
Jokes about super-soldiers were made.
Today, two mysterious crew-cutted, straight postured males we'd never seen before were found standing outside the office on two separate occaisions.
The mate asked "Are you fellows from Wackenhut?"
They looked at each other. "Uh, no." They looked back and forth. "Wackenhut, huh? That sure sounds funny? Huh?" They said.
We backed away slowly.
Later, in the car as we went to go buy candy for dinner, the mate put it together. "No young professionals their age wouldn't have heard of Wackenhut. Clearly, they're Wackenhut."
We're going to monitor them for future signs of super-soliderdom. posted by Frenz | 10/08/2003 11:03:00 PM
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Sunday, October 05, 2003 this is just to say
I know I misspelled "abysmally" in my last post.
Go buy me a new spleen, and maybe then I'll care. posted by Frenz | 10/05/2003 08:32:00 PM
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Fly me to the moon
I took some Nyquil this afternoon, and I am absolutely soaring. My humors are still out of balance, and I don't feel not sick, but at least I'm pleasantly light-headed as well. Oh, my aching spleen. My fucking solar plexis is full of snot and corrosive items. I wish I had something to read, and that something good was on television.
I used last week's library time abmysmally: I picked out some books by authors I'd previously enjoyed withut ever realizing that I'd already read the best possible books by those authors. Fucking letdown, is what it is.
Please send me a new spleen. It is on my wishlist. posted by Frenz | 10/05/2003 08:30:00 PM
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We are here in disguise
The mate and I have taken to wearing bear suits to work, so as to evade Work Buddy. At first, dealing with him was awkward in the way that most budding friendships are awkward for me. There was a lot of repetitive banter, which each party doing a little bit of tailoring one's projected personality into what she thinks the other party will buy.
In Work Buddy's case, he seemed to think the mate and I definitely wanted to hear about his daily girl-watching activities. We created a terrible cycle of feedback and response the first time we politely acknowledged some comment about the many attractive women who ride the local buses. After a few days, that was pretty much all he talked about. He took our cringing in stride, and no amount of attempted subject changes could dissuade him.
Last week, we gave him a ride home, and halfway through, he began to do impressions of various ethnicities. We told him to stop, but nope. The worst part was, his impressions were terrible. They all sounded like the Hollywood version of a US souhern accent.
Also, he began hooting out the window at passing "fine ladies" in these accents. We're never giving him a ride home ever again. I think the lesson here is really to stop trying or expecting to make friends. posted by Frenz | 10/05/2003 09:59:00 AM
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Saturday, October 04, 2003 You have to look pretty for New Mommy
According to the cat lady, I have to keep my fingers crossed, because "the woman who adopted Kiwi is really interested in taking (Black Cat and Brown Cat). She just has to clear it with her roommate and make sure it's ok..." The hell. No one has ever said it was ok for her roommate to have three cats.
Even beyond that, I'm not certain when "Kiwi" was taken, because I don't really care about the cats I'm not responsible for, but the cat lady seemed to think I knew who the hell "Kiwi" was, so I'm guess this was all recent. No one's roommate has, ever ever approved the acquisition of three entire cats within lets say a six week period. Am I right? I am. Cat lady high.
posted by Frenz | 10/04/2003 11:16:00 PM
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Friday, October 03, 2003 Dear Blogger, I hate you.
Please stop rearranging the furniture.
Yours,
Cara posted by Frenz | 10/03/2003 08:41:00 PM
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Thursday, October 02, 2003 Aloha
The dog is gone to go bite god, and he had better watch out, because in heaven she will have teeth. The second worst part of it all was the vet trying to be consoling, and even to hug me, a stranger. Poor little Robo. I should have fed her more people food and let her sleep on the bed more. She was good.
posted by Frenz | 10/02/2003 10:34:00 AM
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