Sunday, July 25, 2004 Blog like me
Somebody did. Pick the entry you think is mine.
1)It has come to my attention that Trouble the cat is going to kill me in my sleep tonight. She is upset that the housemates and I have all been away recently. She will solve this with violence. She doesn’t realize that, while killing your giant caretaker will totally ensure that she never leaves you all by your kitty lonesome again, that you will have only a corpse to howl at when you become bored, or wish to be let out in the hall in the event of a thunderstorm. Cats are dumb as crap.
2)I may love you tomorrow, but it's today. The landlord is selling the building that houses the home office. The prospective buyers tend to traipse through at ungodly hours like 9 a.m., while I am still curled in the window. They always gasp slightly and look away quickly.
Later today I am going to get a cup of shaved ice and dump boysenberry syrup on it. Because, you know, free country. By the way, I am obese.
3)I have my grandmother’s nose. When I catch my reflection in just the right way I see it on my face and think something bad is going to happen. The last time I saw my grandmother’s nose on her face was when she was dead, so that isn’t good.The roommates and I continue our relentless quest to ward off death by jogging around the park once every few days. I have foregone every opportunity to buy sneakers because I like the way my sandals resemble pink blurs as they lash out in front of my body and vanish behind me, kicking up BaltiMore sidewalk dust. It’s a scientific fact that when people walk they are in a constant state of tipping forward and only the taking of the next step keeps our foreheads from slamming into the ground. You can imagine what happens when people run. My pink sandals protect me always.
posted by Frenz | 7/25/2004 10:56:00 PM
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