Friday, October 15, 2004 These things I do just to make myself more attractive to you
Team Vomitola is going to think I'm "biting their style," but here is the story of something that happened at the beauty parlor today.
A man called the salon to ask what "the catch" was: why are our haircuts so cheap. I lied and lied 'til I was like to melt the the phone. I didn't say, "The low, low price is our license to be rude to you," for example. I said something about our streamlined concept.
I thought that he was satisfied, but as I said goodbye, he said to wait, he had another question.
Keep in mind, all throughout the call, I have to deal with people who are physically present in the salon, so every thirty seconds, I interrupt the caller, and then he has a pause to collect his thoughts. I won't keep talking about this, but keep in mind that this is happening, and know that he never faltered in his purpose.
"I've heard that you had a stylist there that's a big Morrissey fan," he said.
I named the stylist most likely to be a Morrisey fan.
"Yes, yes. I'm sure that's her, he said. Well, you know Morrissey's touring the United States right now," he said.
"Of course," I said.
"Well, soon I'm going to see Morrisey, and I was thinking it might be fun to get my hair cut like Morrissey, he said. "Could I do that today?"
I didn't get up and yell, "I order you to!" Instead, I agreed that it was possible, and with a shaking hand, I booked his appointment.
Things got busier after that: I swept hair and greeted customers and washed towels and did all the time-eating things that I do, and when he came in, I nearly missed him. For this I may be forgiven: I wasn't expecting him to have a crew cut.
I'd told the stylist he was coming, but she'd forgetten, or hadn't known it was HIM, because I heard her say, "So, clippers on the top and sides?" as they walked towards her chair, and the last thing I heard him say before I had to answer the phone was, "Well, actually...
Periodically, I'd try to peer over at the station where the fan was getting his haircut. I saw him gesture emphatically several times. When he came to pay, he said, "Next time I have to talk less. I talked through two appointments."
I shrugged and smiled.
"But I had Morrissey-related things to talk about!"
As he was leaving, I saw him stop to talk to someone in the doorway. I only heard a stray word or two of their conversation.
That word, each time, was "Morrissey."
posted by Frenz | 10/15/2004 10:34:00 PM
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