Tuesday, November 02, 2004 Dear Ann Landers,
I realize that you're dead, but the internet is akin to the spirit world, and as you read on, I'm sure you'll see how, as a supernatural entity, this problem might be right up your alley!
A few months ago, some friends and I moved into a house together. All went well on moving day, until 12:30 AM, when we realized our car had been towed! Worst of all, our own neighbors had reported us to the tow truck company and requested that they come and take our car, because unbeknownst to us, we were in one of their two allotted parking spaces--and they only have one car!
We were pretty steamed, and we wanted to ask them, "Hey, what gives?!" but they wouldn't answer their door whenever we knocked.
As time went by, we never heard a peep from them, although sometimes we glimpsed them through the window.
Then tonight, we noticed that someone had inserted a large, dried-out bone into the space between our gate and our fence. It is at eye level, and had to have been placed by someone either inside our yard (it wasn't us!) or theirs.
The bone is not a chicken bone, because it is too large. There has been some debate about what kind of bone it is. We're not jumping to any conclusions that it is a human bone, although my housemate L. had to study different kinds of bones one time and take a test, and she's not saying it is human, but...
Anyhow, Ann, as my housemate JV pointed out, it might've gotten there naturally somehow. For example, it might've fallen off the bone tree.
But, Ann, we don't have a bone tree! It is a crepe myrtle!
Now, you might not be familiar with Baltimore, Ann Landers, but if you are (and I would not be surprised!), you are aware that people here will shove garbage into anything. However, as I said, it does not seem to be the bone of any kind of commonly eaten animal. Also, even if it were, some might say it was "uncool" to jam garbage into your neighbors' fence.
Long story short, Ann, we're having a hard time figuring out how this couldn't be a hex. My housemate JJ has taken the precaution of pouring salt on it.
I'm writing to you in the great beyond, Ann Landers, because we are flummoxed about how to dispose of this bone, which may be human and is probably cursed. Should we call the witch doctor?!?!
Also, what about our neighbors? Do we fight made-up magic spells with made-up magic spells, or is it more sensible to kick over their trash can?
I know you can help us.
Please don't print my name, as it could probably be used against me in arcane and eldritch ceremonies. Just sign me:
--Baffled in Baltimore
posted by Frenz | 11/02/2004 01:25:00 AM
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