Thursday, December 23, 2004 non-blue Christmas
This year, the crazy hasn't come yet, and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm not fighting with my family or doing even a little bit of living in a car, or maybe my heart is three sizes too big, but so far, so good. I usually get that ol' seasonal affective disorder stuff like DAMN. This year, I'm just a little bit meaner than usual, but that's it. Sure, I want to say hurtful things to innocent and well-meaning people, but the exciting part is that this year I'm in a good enough mood that I can bite my tongue and not say those things outloud. (I have some examples here: "Grow up." "Give me a fucking break." "Get bent." Aren't those hurtful? It is so kind of me not to say them.)
I think walking to work and back a few times a week has helped a lot, and I think the light exposure I get when I go outside at lunchtime does more than I was hoping it would.
I can hear church bells (or a reasonable facsimile) playing Christmas carols right now, and because mine is a household that does not turn off our outdoor Christmas lights, I can see them glowing red and trashy out in the yard.
Whenever I'm in a good mood for more than a few weeks at a time, I feel like there's something or someone hiding behind some doorway in my immediate future, just waiting to rabbit punch me when I least expect it, but duh. That's always there. I'm just basking in the feeling of being able to pick up the phone and place a pizza order without my heart racing and my hands sweating. I'm also enjoying holiday baked goods.
Perhaps the rabbit punch will be that obesity I'm always talking about.
Whatevs. I have so much tinsel in my home. I will just weave festive new tinsel pants when I outgrow my regular ones.
posted by Frenz | 12/23/2004 01:12:00 PM
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