Thursday, June 16, 2005 I long, you long
A few years ago, when I started my e-mail account with Yahoo, I didn't want Big E-mail to know who I was, so I gave my gender as male, my occupation as "rancher", and my zip code as 90210. You'd think I'd get some interesting targeted ads, but it's all "Better first dates. More second dates." I guess they figure Beverly Hills is a lonely place to ranch.
I think I gave them my correct age, though, more or less, because I do get ads that are a little on the X-treme side. Today as I was writing my mom a long, rambling e-mail about the bank (because that is what she does to me), an ad for Tonik, Blue Cross' totally, totally bitchin' insurance for irresponsible, minimally employed youngsters like myself came up. It said something about, "Sometimes beats aren't the only thing that are infectious."
The ad is like a charming little nesting doll of things to upset me. They seem to be charging a lot for weird, shitty insurance. If you're the kind of insolent barista who needs Tonik, you probably can't afford a $5000 deductible when you incur a moshing-it-up-related injury or catch the chlamydhia. There's the (not your grandmother's!) colors, the way the ad appears to wiggle and quake to show me that they are an insurance company that's serious about partying. Most of all, though, seriously, is this how you people, you cool hunters and demographic profilers think the children talk? "What do you think of these beats, Taelynn?" "Well, Ashlee, I think the beats are infectious." "I agree. That is the best way to describe these beats. They are infectious." Assholes. This kind of shit doesn't fly at my ranch. That is not how we discuss the beats.
It's upsetting, too, because I think about the insurance men and the ad men, sitting together in a conference room and hatching this, because they can. They know they have my number, and they have a lot of other people's numbers, too. These scumbags are hitting people who are already kind of fucked. Nuts to them. I'll just stay healthy forever. Maybe I'll begin to unleash the healing power of crystals or health food store bark teas. As the girls in the hip dance clubs say, eat it, Blue Cross.
we all long
I am drinking tea right now. I'm stuck with oolong, because my housemates and I drink tea like it's our job, and, like I said, very literally to cure what ails us(Ask me how I know about dirt-n-bugs-tasting health teas.), but we've been healthy lately, so we drank up all the Earl Grey and Constant Comment.
Today I am hoping to cure my rock and roll lifestyle, or rather, to enable it. I come not to bury fun, but to praise it. Fun rules.
I had a good time at the Blogger Happy Hour. One of my housemates asked me where I was going before I left, and I told her, and she said, "Come on, you don't have to lie to me. What are you really doing? You don't have to lie to make yourself sound more dorky." Klan rally, I told her. NAMBLA meeting. She accepted it.
Nah. No reason to be that way. Some people just don't get the internet, and how grateful I am to it for all it's done for me. Trying to explain the blog community to others is weird and hard, too. I wish I were a better mingler. I can't do it very well, and last night I squandered the window between "drunk enough to mingle" and "too drunk to be fun to talk to" on a couple of games of pool. That social-A is a bitch. Pool, though: who knew that would be something I'd enjoy? My stylish companion and I have a little mantra we repeat to one another, about how we are going to win and what we think of our opponents. It feels mean when our opponents are also our friends, though, so I don't think we gave it a hundred and ten percent. In the end, we won a game, and another blog couple(Mmm-hmm. What we've got here is a close knit commmunity.) won one. Rematch: has to happen.
We had to run out after that. There was a function that was supposed to take place a few blocks away. It was to have been a trivia contest. It didn't happen. We figure we talked about going too much to the wrong people, and they cancelled it. Good thing for them, too. We would've wiped the floor with those assholes. posted by Frenz | 6/16/2005 09:17:00 AM
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