Monday, August 22, 2005 Bless your metal hearts
The only ones reading this site lately are lonely robots looking for new ways to promote online gambling sites. Hi, robots! Hi! I don't blame your human brethren for giving it a rest: after content challenge, I was a little tapped out. I still am, but I will change. I will get a work ethic and learn to budget my time, and I will begin flossing right and left. No one will know me anymore, I'll be so wise and good. They'll think I ran away and left an imposter in my own place.
There's few places to go but up. The other day one of my co-workers came into the back room, where I was eating my lunch. She looked a me, and looked away quickly, and finally she said, "Are you eating a mayonaise sandwich?" I was shocked. What a question. I told her, NO, I was eating an onion roll with cream cheese, because that was all there was in the house that morning. Total latchkey kid meal.
I'll tell you, though, I haven't been writing because there's basically one thing I want to write about right now, and if I was going to get all obsessed, I should have done it two weeks ago while the sympathy iron was hot. I'm like a twelve year old in love, though. When is his birthday, what's his sign? What's his favorite color, and which teams does he support? If I brought his favorite food for my lunch, would he sit beside me and trade? Did he follow me home after all, or had he been hiding in the yard? Was he as tall as I told the cops, or did I inflate his height in my mind because I was frightened?
Let's echo middle school some more: Kurt Vonnegut. There's one Kilgore Trout story, I think in Breakfast of Champions, but maybe not, about a planet that is so teeming with life, the people who live there crusade and work tirelessly to drive species to extinction. When they finally get one, they have a big party to celebrate and yell "Gilgongo!" which, in the language of their planet, means extinct, gone forever.
It's become one of the mindless little chimes that sound in my head ( I have one million of them.). My old student ID, so useful for fraudulent discounts? Gilgongo! That was one I just thought about the other day. It keeps giving and giving, my incident.
While I try to think that I am keeping things cas, I can look and see how a part of me is laboring constantly to bring the big it up in conversations where it is not strictly required. Like now. You ain't need to hear this, internet.
The worst part is my own stupid head. There is a part of me that wants to freak the rest of me out and tries to drive it into a panic. The other day it rained, and when I walked home from the bus stop in the evening, it felt a little like twilight. The bad part of my head began to taunt the rest with, "What happens when it starts getting to be fall and getting dark earlier and you have to walk home in the dark? What will you do then?"
What do you think I'll do, idiot? Don my burqua of barbed wire and electric eels? Fly home? I'll walk home in the fucking dark. Is there any other answer? No. Stupid, stupid, bad head. Why try and get me riled?
I'm going to retire for the night now. It's late, and there's somebody good waiting for me. posted by Frenz | 8/22/2005 01:16:00 AM
0 comments
|
