Friday, December 22, 2006 I need a sheep dip, and a word about Style
I just typed that thing about sheep dip to a friend over instant messenger, and I stand by it. I think I have weevils. Mice, maybe, or squirrels. Damn, you second-day hair! I am drinking kombucha to ward off the evil within, but today I am not so hot on the outside.
I went shopping the other day, and there were no pants at the inn. Or at least in Fells Point. I decided to spend my lunch break trying on expensive clothes, and that is what I did. I went to three different stores, and none had jeans that would fit over my mighty thighs.
I'm not trying to be like ZOMG oppression: go figure: snooty boutiques (or supposedly non-snooty "charming" boutiques that are secretly snooty as shit) have clothes for mice and elves, and I should know better than to set a trembling hoof over the threshhold. It's just weird to me. It seems like hooved mammals outnumber elves, body type wise, and our money is as green as elf money.
Maybe it's not. Maybe there's a shadow economy based on elf money and cobwebs. Diet Coke figures in somewhere. You can only spend elf-money at secret clubs with very narrow doorways. It's some Harry Potter shit. Anarex Alley.
I keed. I am actually, a petite, perky blonde like the nice lady in the sponsor logo. I've only been masquerading as a heapingly average size awkward thing for comedic purposes all these years. Blog fraud!
I kid again. The sponsor logo lady and I do not resemble each other, but If you click her, you'll get taken to a site called Stylefeeder.com that's a great resource for those who enjoy shopping, screwing around online, and having opinions.
If you sign up for the site, the kind people at the company will be very pleased with me. Check it out. Only sign up if you want to use the service, obviously, but if you think it's something you might enjoy and you do sign up, you will help a nice filthy hooved mammal afford pants that will fit. posted by Frenz | 12/22/2006 12:21:00 PM
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