Tuesday, February 28, 2006 Some things I ate today
Today I guess all the customers were too busy celebrating Shrove Tuesday in their own quiet ways to come in for their mochas and their lattes. My housemates celebrated by getting up at 6:30 and going to IHOP for their free short stacks. I was jealous, because I had to work, but now I've realized that I didn't have to go to IHOP, and that is its own reward. I wonder how many short stacks they had. They were willing to do quite a lot of travelling.
Since there weren't any customers, I filled the hours of the workday by eating pie. I was so happy. I wish I had more pie now. A short stack of delicious pies. Don't you wish your girlfriend was a pie, like me? Don't you? Is that weird? I am so sorry.
Oh, yeah, I had mocha after mocha this morning as we tested different recipes. I was pleased at first, and at the end of the taste test I was beyond pleased. I felt ALIVE. Now I'm just jumpy.
Tonight there's a league meeting. I might be a smartass and skate there, because it's really close to my house. On the other hand, it's really cold, and I hate weather. posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/28/2006 02:58:00 PM
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Sunday, February 26, 2006 Ready to drop
The Camel corporation keeps sending me money clips in the mail. So far, there have been three, plus three sets of boxed matches with pin-up girls on them. It was poignant when last week I couldn't stop coughing, and this crap kept coming in the mail.
Poignanter still is even though I went nearly a week without smoking, I'm smoking still, technically (although I am not right now and haven't all day today.) Money clips, though! You sons of bitches. Thank you for enforcing my lack of clippable money, a lack due in part to required purchases of your scumming scumfull scum product that I like so much.
Oh, God, though, in other news, I went to State of Confusion with some of the rollergirls and refs last night, and it was a lot of fun. Falling on concrete hurts slightly less than I expected it to, but I'm not trying to say it doesn't hurt. I just blew it up in my head.
I didn't catch a single bit of air, but I hadn't imagined I would right off the bat. I just rolled up and down slight inclines, which was the decent thing to do. Tracy and I raced up and down some of these slight inclines, but then I fell about twelve feet from the mark, and even though I slid several additional feet, I just couldn't recover in time. posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/26/2006 07:50:00 PM
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Thursday, February 23, 2006 Hush
Earlier today I was lying on the couch, and my chest was rattling away, and no matter how hard I smiled when I said, "Look, baby! Look! Just like you!" I couldn't convince the cat I was purring. Then I fell asleep and had a needlessly complicated dream that I was changing the wheels on my skates, but I kept putting them on backwards and losing little washers in the couch. (The dream also took place on the couch.)
It's been a lousy couple of weeks for just about everyone I know. I missed two practices this week, and a day and a half of work. My housemate got hit by a car when he was on his bike. He dislocated his shoulder, so he can't work for about six weeks, which puts my dumb week in perspective a little bit, or should.
I haven't had a cigarette in four days, and maybe that's why I'm surly. I haven't decided whether to do the only reasonable thing and keep the streak going after I get better. I'm withholding a decision pending on whether I actually get better. So far, no one I know who's caught this has.
Another set of housemates, uninjured, came in earlier with a trashbag of XXL Def Lepard tour shirts from 2005. Tracy and I both got in the same one and flailed around for a while, but at the end of the end of the night, did we just stretch a perfectly good shirt?
(No.) posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/23/2006 10:44:00 PM
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Sunday, February 19, 2006 I've made a nest of blankets in my favorite chair.
Right just a second ago, I was having this sleuthing conversation with myself about why the dinner roll I was eating out of a paper bag tasted like sugar for a nibble every now and then. The girl detectives that live inside me decided that cough syrup had dried on my lips, adding a layer of flavor to anything that brushed them. I licked my lips, and I was right.
Just now just now, I realized that the dinner rolls (for there are more!) share a small paper bag with a scone, so I was wrong, too. I have learned an important lesson about humility.
Oh, I'm eating rolls out of a paper bag on the floor because I got sudden-onset ebolabetes. My friend Leah, who once had a blog and now does secret things, said that if it were true ebolabetes, I'd have to inject myself with ebola every few hours and avoid pancakes. I said, "gross." Or something. I don't know. I could look it up, because it's all on IM anyway, but I won't, because clicking hurts.
Sitting hurts. Lying down hurts worst of all. No, boredom hurts most of all.
Not saying I'm bored. I am not saying you are a gold digger.
Last night I went to a divorce party. It was great! We all got divorces!
No, we all got snacks. The best was a cake that mimicked the look of a full catbox. It came with a serving scooper that said "Here's to no more dealing with SHIT." The scooper may have been wishful, because into each life a gentle rain of shit must fall, but I liked the scooper's gumption. posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/19/2006 07:07:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006 In realtime!
Tonight there were only three Night Terrors still standing and present when it was time for scrimmages, so we dispersed to different teams for the evening. I wanted to do a three-person team instead, but I guess I can see the downside to that. (This is a joke that doesn't translate well, but trust me, it's hilarious.)
One of the new announcers came out, I guess to practice announcing, and I know why he was doing it, but it didn't make it any less funny to have a dude stand there and describe what was happening in an announcer voice, in realtime. posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/14/2006 01:14:00 AM
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Sunday, February 12, 2006 finally, a chance to wear heavy eyeliner
My roller derby team is no longer "the turquoise team". We had a hundred meetings, and I had five temper tantrums. Somehow, we still got it together. We're The Night Terrors. Worse than your worst nightmare.
Bouts are supposed to start at the end of April.
Today I'm blowing off going to the Philly Rollergirls second public bout because snow paralyzes the brains of other drivers, and because I'm so damn lazy.
Some friends and I went out late night sledding at around 2 a.m., and we met a whole crew of boyfriends. They were all stricken with brain paralysis. They threw snowballs at us, to woo us, which was cute, but then they tackled somebody, and it was less cute. One insinuated that he wanted to lick my face, and I said no. He argued his case further, and I told him that I had snow herpes.
"Snow herpes!" all the dudes yelled. Dudes love yelling.
We lost them by moving 20 yards away. Outfoxed again, you stinking yetis. posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/12/2006 04:48:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 07, 2006 miracles happen here every day
Last night at practice, I fell on my butt, again. The rollerbosses would have me believe that experienced skaters don't fall on their butts, but instead fall forward and take the impact on their knee and elbow pads. This may be true, but sometimes, things happen. Scrimmages are scrimmaged. People fall in front of you. People shoulder check you. You shoulder check others.
You (or I!) fall on your butt.
Once again, my but remains unbroken.
Also, not an hour ago, a man came into work with free samples of pie.
Also-also, I just found this link. Would this product be OK for daily wear? posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/07/2006 02:51:00 PM
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Sunday, February 05, 2006 The living room is cheering for Seattle
except for Lisa, who favors the Steelers. I don't know much about this, but I've heard that Pittsburgh and Baltimore are mortal enemies, so I'm making sympathetic noises when bad things happen to the green men.
Except I'm on the wrong side of the quilt that we are projecting the game on, so I'm not really making any noises except the sounds of typing.
The Super Bowl always brings back grubby memories of walking around in the cold and trying to sell Girl Scout Cookies. On Super Bowl Sunday, people were always home, and they were always happy. As a child, I was a sucker. At least now I'm indoors. posted by Frenzy Lohan | 2/05/2006 07:47:00 PM
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