Friday, June 23, 2006 What a wonderful world
My sister had a baby last Friday, a little girl. Now I'm up in her town, trying to distract my parents. The baby is very good, and her mother and father will raise her right. No ending a sentence in a preposition or acrylic nails for this baby!
I just found a picture somebody took of me at the May bout. Someone I don't know left a nasty comment on it, so I guess my star status is growing. I took the high road, and attacked my focus-group-of-one's grammar in a comment of my own.
My new thing is that I'm supposed to be writing a lot more. I've lined up a couple of people to disappoint if I don't, so if I'm not productive, at least I'll be guilty. posted by Frenz | 6/23/2006 10:55:00 PM
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Friday, June 16, 2006 I also played raquetball
Hello, cruel world. I hope you're having a nice day. I am, too, although I'm tired. I went to the movies with my housemates. Jane got a scrolling LED belt buckle for her birthday, so I wore mine, too, but she took hers off in the car. I didn't notice for a while, so I was just walking down the sidewalk, scrolling away by myself. Tackee.
We saw A Prairie Home Companion, and that was a nice time. Everyone in the theater but us was of a very certain age, and they clapped at the credits. Lindsay Lohan was adorable. I don't like it when people badmouth her. She is a fine actress. posted by Frenz | 6/16/2006 12:21:00 AM
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Monday, June 12, 2006 Night Terrors Vs. Speed Regime
Pre-bout:
-Team breakfast at Golden West. Discussed strategy, had French toast.
-French toast included bananas.
-Nasty Trick and Mexican Fury handed out the scrolling LED belt buckles they'd picked up at Lexington Market.
-Went home and began athletic preparations such as gluing rhinestones to my face.
-Performed the ritual of askiing Tracy which stockings look better w/short-shorts.
-Performed ritual of getting freaked out in the ten minutes before leaving the house. We were going to be so late!
-Arrived at rink. Rolled down windows to let everyone know that Tracy was playing "Chariots of Fire" on his i-pod.
-Tracy has "Chariots of Fire" on his i-pod.
-Ivanna E. Chabrains came over to rolled-down window and asked "Are you for real?"
-Was first Night Terror at rink.
-When we were allowed inside, I decided to forgo the ritual of standing around waiting for somebody to tell me what to do and began doing things. Sadly, the thing that most needed doing was scraping giant death traps of gum off the rink.
-Scraped gum.
-Scraped gum.
-Saw [info]whiskeypoptart in hon drag with the Hampden Charm School Cheerleaders. Scraped gum.
-Gave up on gum.
-Went to Skateland ladies lounge and BOILED my hands.
-Stretched with team. Cheeta had to yell at a bunch of photographers who were trying to get butt and crotch shots.
Bout:
-Turned left.
-Blocked others.
-Was blocked.
-Berzerker blocked the Mexican Fury to the wall, and Fury sat out, concussed for the rest of the bout.
-Somewhere in there, I blocked Psycho78 way down low and in front, fell onto one knee, and kind of got pushed around with one skate out and one knee dragging.
-Psycho78 tackled me a little bit later--when she was the jammer!
-Everybody went wild, because our jammer could just score and score.
-Seconds later, our jammer Joy Collision (Joy will tear you apart--again) received her third penalty and had to sit out, so no one could score.
-Saw bosoms at halftime burlesque show. Later found out that the cops were trying to arrest Trixie Little. Rumor?
-Although we were close for a while, by the second half we couldn't find our asses until the Speed Regime handed them to us. They beat us by 41 points, which I beleive is the amount of points we scored in total in our first bout.
-Huuuuuuugs!
-Meanwhile, the Junkyard Dolls had won by two points on the Mods, in sudden-death overtime. CLOSE game. Definitely the most exciting of the season. People were going nuts.
-Also, the world's best people came out and cheered for the Night Terrors--again! I saw Kerry, Jeremy, Brian ("Friend of Frenzy"),Meredith, (D)amanda, Justine, Mike, Kisch, Joel, Angela, Ruby (and their lovely friends who I don't know), Claire, and the lady from the bar last time who had somebody take her picture with everybody (sporting a Night Terrors t-shirt, as were many others). I'm hesitant about writing names, because I don't want to forget anybody, but I am so glad that people are coming out to these bouts. My whole team is so happy to see everybody.
Post bout:
-Was bummed.
-Told self would give self something to cry about, and so pulled self together.
-Gave heartfelt interview to some lady. When I got around to asking what publication it was for, she became evasive.
-Went to Hubcap Inn.
-Huuuuuuugs!
-Psycho 78 came over to apologize for tackling me. I asked if she was on the amends step of derby.
-Stood under the big Confederate flag with Black Diamond and talked about how we wished the afterparty was elsewhere.
-Went within ten feet of Penaltina. "Who wants to do a shot. Yes, you do!"
-Minerva Vavoom, down all season so far with a broken leg, told me I skate funny. "You look like you're plow-stopping all the way around the rink, and it's slowing you down." The horror! She's right, though. How the hell am I ever going to unlearn that?
-Couldn't sleep all night. Gave up and got up at 5:30. posted by Frenz | 6/12/2006 01:12:00 PM
3 comments
Sunday, June 11, 2006 I love a parade
Yesterday at DC Pride, The Charm City Roller Girls and the DC Rollergirls (different leagues, different thoughts on spacing, I suppose) skated together as the Baltimore DC Derby Sisterhood. It was a great time, but there is nothing so humbling as being placed directly behind a flatbed truck full of line-dancing shirtless cowboys moving their Stetsons in suggestive ways. My, what a prominent Stetson.
We could've been setting ourselves on fire and throwing real gold coins into the audience, and we would have gotten polite applause. No Stetsons, you see.
One time, a bunch of hus were chasing each other in a circle aroudn the girls holding banners, and a bike cop joined in and circled with us. He put his little bike siren on and everything, and when he was done, he giggled about being dizzy. One pauses here to reflect on various receptions one has gotten from police officers in the District over the years. One pauses, and one blinks. One says, "Damn," and "Mmmmm MMMM." posted by Frenz | 6/11/2006 12:39:00 PM
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Wednesday, June 07, 2006 What happened to her body?
My housemates began work on a vegan human head made of seitan a few days ago, and yesterday we barbecued it in a backyard ceremony to commemorate the date. Jane and I decided, based on the ancient song, that it was "The Teacher's Head", even though nobody in the house has any teachers anymore.
A record of a black mass played in the background. For some reason, it included a musical interlude of "The Stars and Stripes Forever", which I know as another ancient song, "Be kind to your web-footed friends". It was very sinister, but not as sinister as the head itself. The barbecue sauce with which Josh basted it pushed it over the edge from an amusing concept to an object, actual and gross.
Evil was big all over yesterday. On the way in to work Tracy and I had heard that some schools had added extra security "Due to rumors on MySpace.com." Without dear old MySpace, morning radio news would just have to go off the air, because what the hell else could they possibly talk about? Iraq? They should just rename that whole darn country Bummerville. It's just not appropriate for the morning news, seriously.
So, this morning Tracy and I got out of bed early (although not as early as we'd intended) and drove out to Skateland for a morning news appearance with the roller derby league. Fox TV, no less. Fox 5 in DC.
Since 6:00 AM is a punishing time to head to the rink (unlike 6:00 PM [doors at 5:00] this Sunday. Tickets onsale now! Halftime show sponsored by Oh! Said Rose featuring Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey and the Hampden Charm School Cheerleaders! That is a GREAT time to go to Skateland, and to buy a t-shirt.), attendance was low, and as time went by, more and more of the skaters had to leave. Eventually, it was me, Cheeta Torpeda, and Betty Beatdown trying to move fast and spread out so that we looked like fourty people. Justice Feelgood Marshall--America's Referee had to do his best to like seven refs. He also had to jump over the newscaster and another ref (both at once) on his skates, on camera. Pulled it off like it wasn't no thing.
Me, I'd had a crying fit in the parking lot beforehand, because, because, because, because....I'm going fucking insane. At the bare minimum, I'm going to be spending 19 hours of this week skating, coaching, or going to comittee meetings. Last week it was a triflin' 14, but of course, that doesn't count the 1,000 hours a week I spend on the fucking yahoo groups that all of roller derby relies upon for announcements, planning, and all the discussion that just can't until comittee meetings. I mean, seriously, Yahoo groups? Are we animals? Evidently. posted by Frenz | 6/07/2006 10:30:00 AM
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Monday, June 05, 2006 I was recently on a train, and this is what I typed
Oh, look. Some other douche on the train has his laptop out. That’s fun. We are a mutual douche society. His laptop computer is not as nice as mine, which I assume means that his father is not as generous or as wealthy. Perhaps his father is dead. That is sad. I should not have called him a douche if he is an orphan.
It only means “shower” in Spanish, though, and really, that is not so bad.
He is doing a power point. I have already done mine.
A little earlier in the evening, a man on a Nextel learned that a young lady of his acquaintance had become pregnant. The father was “some guy [she] used to talk to.” I would’ve only heard half the conversation punctuated by crackling, but the man who was in the process of hearing a surprise repeated everything she said incredulously and at a high volume. The train was sitting in Union Station in DC for a two-hour layover, and the man and I were in the only people still on board. He was sitting one row up from me on the other side, and there was not even the noise of the engines to prevent me from hearing every word.
Honestly, though, I was less surprised than he was. When she told him she had something to say that she couldn’t say over the phone, because it would change everything, and he began to say that, no, no, she could tell him, that’s when I figured it out.
A woman just came and sat in front of me and huffily reclined her seat. There are maybe ten people on this train car. I hate her. Can you hear me typing this? I hate you. posted by Frenz | 6/05/2006 03:57:00 PM
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